The children are gone, work is sometimes behind us, the meaning of life is changing... What are we going to do about our relationship with the spouse who may have become a stranger in our lives over the years?

According to statistics from the FPS Economy (Federal Public Service Economy), in 2019, divorces among people aged 50 and over accounted for around 20% of all divorces in Belgium.

The reasons for divorce among senior citizens in Belgium are similar to those for other age groups, including communication problems, differences of opinion, differences in values, health problems, etc. However, among senior citizens, problems relating to retirement, adult children, finances and health are often cited as factors in divorce.

Tips and tricks to keep your relationship healthy:

Plan time together:

Get together one evening a week. Take turns organising the evening. The aim is to get together around something that one (or both) of us likes to do and to take the opportunity to enter each other's world. Surprise yourself!

▪ Do your best to seduce your partner. Be extremely considerate both of you.

▪ Make this an evening of relaxation, pleasure and laughter...

▪ It's forbidden to talk about subjects that make you angry that evening!

No time during the week?

▪ Organise a romantic weekend away. A city trip hand in hand.

Discover new landscapes and cities together.

▪ Get together in a small hotel, it's time for pillow time, improved naps and trying new pleasures.

Change the way you communicate

First of all, if it seems that you often clash: try to defuse the conflict: a little pirouette to lighten the mood? A little humour to try and make the other person laugh is a good start (no mockery or sarcasm!). It's a good way to break the tension and get your thoughts together. It's also a way of getting out of the emotion you're going through to regain control of your thoughts.

We can also explain the slippage we're seeing: "Look out, darling, we're getting on our nerves, this is going to end badly...".

Apologies and forgiveness are winning attitudes. Even if your partner finds it a little difficult to forgive directly, acknowledging your mistakes is an act of courage, love and humility, and encourages the other person to do the same.

Turn off the TV a few evenings from time to time

It's obvious that too much television kills love... It's impossible to talk or attract the other person's attention! Some people go so far as to systematically have dinner in front of the 8 o'clock news. So when do we talk?

What if we walked together for an hour before going to bed? What if we enrolled in that evening class together? If we were a bit creative? If we pursued a shared passion?

Pillow time

Never more time with each other? We've lost that habit?

Don't miss the chance to go to bed, try to keep a similar schedule a few times a week. We can meet up on the pillow to whisper sweet nothings or at breakfast to get the day off to a good start.

These few words of love

Think about the power of words of love. Don't forget them. It's important to remember that what's written down stays with you and can be reread.

A simple "I love you" or "have a nice day" for the other person's coffee, a little hello by text message, a little sext, a love letter, a love email... You are not and never will be taken for granted, so don't forget to remind them of your love from time to time.

Flirting isn't just about meeting someone

Flirting should always be part of a couple's relationship: we never stop reminding them of this. Desire and the pleasure of being together need to be nurtured. Stay beautiful for your partner, in every sense of the word! 

Don't be in training every day, unshaven, make-up-free, or in front of your screen to greet him or her.

Go out and meet him or her happily, smile, and make your daily get-togethers a great atmosphere - you'll be rewarded!

And what about my personal needs?

Separate activities are very important for you, but also for your relationship. There's nothing like telling the other person about your evening or your activity. Let your partner breathe and live on his or her own. Don't phone him ten times a day to tell him what's going on (apart from emergencies, of course), wait until you're back together. Interest in and admiration for what the other person does outside of you has a surprising effect on desire in a couple.

The couple is a 'body' in motion that needs care, attention and interest. The more you work on it, the better you'll feel. And if that seems difficult, you can always go and see a relationship professional.