Everyone talks about letting go, but it's a difficult concept for us people from the West to understand. We tend to be 'freak control', in other words, we're conditioned to want to control everything, even the uncontrollable...

Here's just one example ... How often in the course of a day do we find ourselves talking about the weather? While it's a subject of concern in our latitudes, it's also something we have absolutely no control over ...

According to some studies on the subject, some of us make it an almost permanent topic of discussion because it gives us a feeling of being more in control.

Many people check the weather on their smartphones incessantly, even frantically! Why is it that in our culture we can't stand to see certain things get out of hand?

Even though I'm still a long way from knowing how to truly let go, I sincerely believe that it's by wanting to control everything that we create our unhappiness.

This need for omnipotence, which is inevitably doomed to failure, can only deprive us of the well-being we all deserve and towards which we say we strive on a daily basis, but is this really true?

To help you 'let go' from time to time, I invite you to create a phrase or two that you can repeat like a mantra and/or post in a place where you spend time.

Here's one that has always helped me a lot, so you can try it out.

The second Anglo-Saxon reference is "Don't believe everything you think", phonetically, I prefer it in English ...

So I love this one! If, as I used to do, you have given the king's seat to your mind, instead of keeping its place, i.e. being at your service, it has invaded your head and cluttered it up with everything that has prevented you from moving forward until now ... Don't panic, it's treatable! If I can do it, you can too!

Is it easy? NO Is it possible? YES!!!

One of the major obstacles to letting go lies in our beliefs and habits. Beliefs come from the messages we receive from our earliest childhood, messages that are reinforced over time if we are not careful. In fact, we have a tendency to select from our environment what might confirm them. For example, if I think I'm rubbish at my job (because I've always been told that I'll never amount to anything...), I'll systematically put myself in a situation of failure and I'll even go so far as to get fired in order to reinforce my belief. Another obstacle to letting go is making your happiness dependent on external circumstances. Parents, for example, will be happy if their children do well at school. The same applies to co-dependency, i.e. the belief that something outside ourselves can bring us joy and self-fulfilment. More often than not, it's a permanent preoccupation with another person whom we want to control "for their own good". Again, some parents are obsessed with what's going on in their children's lives instead of letting go and living their own lives. However, to understand the example, it's important to note that letting go in no way means losing interest or becoming indifferent. Having very specific and very important goals can also represent an obstacle insofar as these goals are "set in stone". It's obviously essential to have goals, to know what you want, but it's just as important to bear in mind that these are likely to evolve over time or even change completely. You won't be surprised to read that our negative emotions are also an obstacle to letting go. When, for example, it's fear that occupies our minds, we forget that the reality of our human condition is to live in uncertainty. And it is because of this fear that we try to control our lives and the lives of others. Another obstacle can lie in our inability to let go of the past, to let go of what no longer belongs. Sometimes we cling to a painful past, we refuse to heal our wounds (for fear of forgetting, of betraying...) and in this way we can't move on to the new. Unfortunately, it's very common to prefer known suffering to as yet unknown happiness... All these obstacles represent the walls of our prison, walls that we've built from scratch. It is entirely possible to leave this prison as long as we allow ourselves to do so. It's a way of life that begins with observation. 

The first step is to examine our attitudes and behaviour in order to understand them. This phase will lead to important realisations that are essential to any evolution. It's a path of humility and authenticity that requires patience, self-love and determination.

Patricia Deswert