September 2022. I received a phone call from the vet. My 22-year-old son Marius had gone to show our 11-year-old Tibetan Terrier dog Karma, who seemed tired. Her blood test and puncture revealed lymphoma. Instantly, I thought to myself, this doctor has had the thoughtfulness to phone me rather than my son, who had made the effort, that's very good. I'm shocked on the phone, and say to her: "I'm not at all used to this situation, what should I do, how should we proceed"... She tells me that this type of cancer progresses quickly, and that very quickly there will be metastases everywhere, and that it usually takes a few weeks. She'll take cortisone, which will mask the symptoms, but at some point we'll know that it's the end. I tell her I can't decide when. And she reassures me that she will.

I fell apart and went home. Her two masters fell apart with me. Will she be at her birthday party in early October?

October: Our dog is holding up well, thanks to the cortisone, she's getting on with her life and we're spoiling her. 

End of October: These days, she's not doing so well. My sons find it very hard to tell. I look at her every evening and ask her to go off on her own. My cousin tells me that dogs are so loyal that even at that moment, they find it hard not to be and let go! It's not easy to decide when. She's getting lower and lower.

Marius has worked through his grief. Emilien too. We got organised. It wasn't easy to decide. But Karma didn't want to go for walks any more, and she slept all the time. Marius asked for the vet to come to the house. We're wondering what to do with our second 14-year-old dog, who is her "husband". We'll ask the vet. 

For my part, I asked Michel Philibert, the behaviourist on the social network. He replied very kindly with a few words of advice: "Stay close to her until she breathes her last, talk to her, she may be scared. We organised a resting place for her, on a piece of land in the countryside, where Emilien will plant an apple tree next to her. 

Michel, from 50+ animaux, also gave me the contact details of a Canadian woman who specialises in pet bereavement.  I think it's important that I pass it on to you. Our pets play a huge role in our lives. As Michel said to me: don't be impressed by words like "it's only a dog"...

These two doggies have been my two sons' companions for over 10 years. Emilien is only 14 and they've been his darlings since he was a toddler. How can I ignore their importance? 

So, of course, when they leave, it's difficult. You have to learn to mourn. And you have to go through it. This is the first real time for my children. We'll all do our best. We're going to miss her a lot. 

In my research, I discovered that animal bereavement coaches exist. Here's an article written by one of them that talks about the stages of grief, with reference to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's model of the phases of grief.

I've also discovered that there are quite a few books on the subject, even for young children. Michel recommended this one. "Quand l'animal s'en va".

1 November

We said goodbye to our Karma yesterday. She was at the end of the road. While waiting for the vet, she slumped down in the garden and seemed to be leaving on her own. It was a long, hard wait. Her three owners and I were all around her, talking constantly. 
The vet arrived and crouched down in the garden with us around her. She explained the procedure and our dog's reactions. She placed a catheter to inject the products. She told us to tell her when she could go in. First the powerful anaesthetic, which will allow her to stop being conscious and in pain. We said goodbye to her, all four of our hands on her. And in two minutes, she was gone, on tiptoe.

It's the Feast of the Dead today, so she'll no doubt have some fun. We'll be mourning. We already miss her. Our second dog, her husband Chiffon, was looking around yesterday as he ate. Karma usually went straight for the bowl because she was so greedy! He seemed to be waiting for her to arrive. It's going to be difficult for him too.